Aarrrggghhhh..!

July 14, 2007 § 9 Comments

Indeed.

The toughest part of my life as a blogger (tiny though) is to manufacture titles for posts i wish to produce. At times I believe that in itself is the sole counterproductive reason why I don’t/can’t write much, despite the desire to do it a lot more often than I write/you read. A lot of bloggers apparently use long titles, admitting little snippets of the content of the posts in the title itself. I can’t do that. I really can’t. I’m a concise man. Not with words in general, but everywhere my judgement instructs me for taciturnity. If I (almost) hate long titles, I would firmly believe none of my readers deserve them as well! Though with such stiff chokepoints, I find myself highly incapable of assigning apt titles for the matter I intend to write, because a lot of times I mix the content up subject-wise, or else plan to but can’t because the designated title (short & sweet) indicates a different story! Quite often I guess I’ve ended up screwing up my original ideas – by the time I finish I have a very different text compiled. And it’s not uncommon for me to have actually had to change the title once I finish writing! Damn these blog service providers! Can the title field not be the last attribute to be taken care of on the write-page! Damn!

That, by the way, gave me an idea – I’ll add another category to this blog starting from this post itself: “fuse”! Mix it up!

I have also realized that I might be getting a lot more opinionated than I used to be. I think I was decently pliant for a very long time, receptive to what the world has to say, and often consenting with the proposed wisdom. Not any more. I’m taking stands on matters of all to no importance off late. May be it’s just a (self) confidence building measure – how and why I’m even practicing it, I don’t know. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing. Probably it is as long as I can offer solidarity with what people have to say. I pray hard obstinacy doesn’t meddle with the good relations I have carefully acquired with most men and women I know! I will want maximum supply of goodwill before they set fire to the wood beneath!

And again I might just have finally realized that it’s good to talk to people. As in talk about myself. I’ve been kind of infamous for being a huge introvert in a very non-obvious sense. All those to whom I’m known in person, never actually say it, but dig deep down, and they understand that I’m extremely alien to them! And lately I’ve actually went ahead and told a few pals that I’m hugely misunderstood! But I think eventually it was a good thing back then. My college life I mean. Part of the reason I made great friends is that I was always available to listen. And I loved it too. I think my natural endowments lie with people. Just that I can’t really figure out how to get my real talents suitably recognized/rewarded! But anyway, the point is I’m opening up lately. May be to a very few, or may be just that one woman, but I am. And I like it. I was always the inward-looking self-questioning kind. But the sweep of that exercise was limited to myself for all these years. Robertfrust once told me that it’s good to let your guard down now and then. I think I understand it today. Thanks man.

And in all likelihood, this would be the last I’ll be writing from Bangalore/Bengaluru (official baptism in a week I think). Two months were well spent here. I’m not always kind to people/things/places/events and can be dead critical at times (the stars failed me ..I didn’t ask for Virgo!). But I think I’ll cut it some slack, despite the most harrowing traffic on roads I think I’ll see in my entire life, the ear-wrenching, teeth-clacking sound of Kannada, life stopping dead after 11 PM, and the chill it gave me by the nights! The rest is pretty damn good. A shopper’s paradise. Autos by meter. A lot of good-looking women (ok am sorry about the last critical post on the subject. Yes they exist, if you know the right places). But am still surprised at the terrific gradation we have in terms of female beauty here. There are incredibly well-dressed love-at-first-sight stimulating kind, as also 80’s Bollywood’s horror women lookalikes! Anyway, the weather is just awesome. The movie industry here is plain huge by any standards. Bollywood has always had competition in little dwarfs of vernacular cinema, but South Indian cinema is formidable. I got used to watching TV here (more out of joblessness than choice), and these channels certainly managed to kick me in the shins (not the balls sorry ..even the idea of writing that hurts)! They have their own versions of ‘laughter challenge’, ‘Koffee With Anu’, and not to forget, the steamy movies, which by the way, make me throw up – how can a real fat bulbous woman, fat as in skin popping out from everywhere it can, with her Guinness category bosom, and thunder thighs, and most ugly-fitting inner-wear, sexually turn on anyone! It’s just gross! And are there no good-looking men in this part of the country? Not once, you bet, not once did I see a good on-screen pair on the dozens of alien-language channels (Rajnikanth is not handsome please). A black, thick-mustached, frizzy haired man (actor ..cough-cough), that huge pink tongue sticking out all the time, with a rather angelic (in relativity) woman in minis, and executing a blind-would-ROTFL incredibly funny dance routine, is like a beastly act. A King Kong chiseled out in human form with Naomi Watts! Yuck-yuck!

And my Orkut-demolition continues. I’ve finally managed to exactly half the number of friends, without losing much on the fan front. It looks good now. Nothing Herculean about it anymore. I think I like a stripped profile, while everywhere around me orkut explodes. Just a year back my ex had started the Vh1 community, and she has like a seven thousand members now. I tell you, Orkut’s a phenomenon, and this world’s getting dangerously addicted. I’m trying to break free perhaps. I’d rather get OCD’ed to things more valuable, rich in intellectual content perhaps. Wishful thinking.

And watched Harry Potter & blah-blah and Die Hard 4.0, back to back (multiplex was a brilliant idea). HP was disappointing, nothing really happens (of course not in the book as well, but come on it’s a movie ..make it grand). There’s a very very cute (if you know me, you know I don’t use this word too often ..so when I do, assume the subject is seriously attractive) presence (not Dolores Umbridge of course ..she’s really bad I’m telling you ..at times I too felt like swinging her by the hair, or sentence her to be trampled under an elephant’s feet, or pieced apart in a shredder). Once she appeared, I think I sat through the entire movie anticipating her appearance every now and then. But pigs don’t fly you see. I was watching a children’s movie. My kinky ideas were forbidden for those 140 minutes! And no one kindly tell me Bruce Willis’ age. This man gives me a real complex with his manliness. Sheer testosteron-ic force of masculinity! Ended the day at Pizza Hut, which by the way reminds me – if you’re a woman even remotely interested in me, you should start now with Pizza-making. The ubiquitous idea of the way to a man’s heart etc etc is applicable in my case exclusively with smoking-hot deliciously-soft pizzas. And if you are reading this, I mean you you, then don’t bother: eating is the last thing on my mind when with you!

And now this looks like a fairly long post, and should shut up all you who pick me apart on not writing frequently. Good chance that I won’t be writing for some time now (work, travel, home, love etc etc reasons you see), so every time you come back here and find no new post, I request you to re-read this once again, easy and slow – and you are free to comment if you come across any new idea you would have missed in the last read. (Damn! I can be an annoying narcissist)! And Reeta, my apologies, but I have the tag at the back of my mind.

So long, gentlemen, gentlewomen.

Just like that..

July 5, 2007 § 11 Comments

Have you realized how much of written English is not, spoken English! I mean I (could) have been reading a lot lately, and I think a lot of English language just doesn’t seem apt to be used in verbalized conversation. The faculty of reading must be considerably different from someone mouthing the same piece of text. Perhaps a regular conversation would make equal sense as some sophisticated bit of writing, and both seem chaotic if stretched beyond a certain level of complexity, which by the way, I believe happens a lot more with published stuff. You can’t just go outside a limited fathom of oral communication. Tell me you feel likewise, please, and that am not burning out!

Oh and as much as I love to announce my personal life here, so you as a reader should know that I’ve had the first ever accessory added to my previously normal organism – glasses, a pair of extra eyes to go while working/reading. Apparently a lot of people seem approving of the new look. Except myself. I really like to imagine myself appearing like some young intellectual (albeit, with a dirty mind behind those glasses), a true hardworking software engineer (irrespective of the fact that quarter of the time I’m just Orkutting), and a decent husband-material man, who by virtue of his glasses just got more presentable! I’m doing all the regular maneuvers associated with bespectaclation that I’d grown up seeing my Dad perform all his fatherly life. While leaving for lunch I carefully (and trying hard perhaps to look smart caught in the act) take ’em off and fold them in my shirt’s pocket (if it has one). Clean ’em with Virgo precision. And most  regularly, I’ll keep adjusting ’em when there is entirely no need for it, and making sure that I catch a glimpse of mine in the process in some nearby reflector! I even clicked myself like a dozen times in a mirror, just to make sure that it looks good before I sent out the pics to people I love (which totals to one for the kind of love am talking about), and all the rest who needed to know and feed me back on the decently eventful matter as I’d like to see it as!

Anyway, life is good.

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