February 23, 2008 § 2 Comments
I didn’t check that momentary impulse. Even though I knew I was risking a regret later.
Next thing, I hurt myself in a freak bedpost event.
Didn’t expect repentance to come so soon, as it did in an unrelated fashion.
As I limp painfully now, I understand He’s watching. All the time.
It’s a just world after all.
February 12, 2008 § 11 Comments
It’s fairly premature for me to have an opinion on this. Nonetheless, I haven’t stopped thinking about it since the time this was first mentioned to me as a possibility in a seemingly harmless sort of conversation otherwise.
The choice between natural birth and adoption inside a family.
To be honest with you people, the latter was never an option, so far as all the imagination of the patriarchal kind ever done goes. I mean nothing in my world ever suggested me to consider not fathering your own child. Everyone got married in the regular fashion and before we knew the women were pregnant and the entire family found that a good reason to stay happy and so we did. And that’s how I came to understand the obviously logical cycle of birth, birth and death. And somewhere back then I must have also been cognized of the highest truth of life – procreation, as a continuous learning process from the time I was convinced children were born magically post and only post marriage as some sort of an inevitable after-effect, and were in fact carried in the mother’s stomach (did we know wombs/uterus even existed!), till the XIth standard Biology lecture on Reproduction or the IXth grade dirty toilet-talk with the last bench bad guy(s). But all this better find a place in some other crummy post some other time.
So why do I bother to waste my time (which is at a premium lately anyway [astonishing ..I’m writing after more than a month!]) on something which has evidently not been a normally accepted way of life from where I come or belong?
I saw a photograph of Jennifer Lopez in the newspaper magazine, and Jessica Alba the next day, both happily (smiling poses) knocked up.
I sure didn’t think they were half as pretty as when I loved them!
Weird argument to support the idea in the post you’d say, but let’s face it – the truth is, it hurts to see a woman you loved so much and got married (or either way) bloated up like hell! At least this feeling will push through your mind for a little while, possibly dwarfed immediately by the more tangible reality of your own seed coming to life and the race being carried forward genetically and the clan getting multiplied and infested with pure blood offspring and body hair reducing during these evolutionary stages ..etc. Plus, it certainly is a lot of pain and enduring for the woman, something we men can never comprehend, however understanding/caring crap we may dish out!
However, here’s the bad part. I’m not yet pro-adoption either.
I still find it hard to accept I could rear something not my own. Something I never knew even existed before the day I chose to find about it. It’s always going to have the ‘outside’ factor, however liberal attitude or kind, accepting heart I could muster.
And then back again, you must love your wife. That’s something that’d never change. That mustn’t.
Everyone’s entitled to a view, and I hate it that everyone goddamn has one! Because I seem to get acquainted with more of the adoption-loving kind off late, as if I needed a popularity ranking using numbers from both camps on the how-to-make-a-baby algorithm! And I can’t say if that’s a good thing. Or not. And suddenly it feels like a very important decision I should have made long back!
I’m not finished though. I’m going to think more about it.
I wish people in similar perplexity share.
Those who do not belong above, better start thinking. Wisdom helps, even when used before the situation calls for it.
Personal satisfaction for life. Service to mankind/humanity.
Manliness vs. Godliness.
I say that’s a tough choice to make.
If you think out of the box as they say.