January 1, 2009 § 6 Comments
Happy New Year all.
Having said that, and to some of you personally on sms, I realized how terribly useless some of us find to wish each other on days like this. I myself have never been quite a wisher in the sense of it as such. I remember when I got my first cellphone when I went to college (DCE, before IIT happened and then life would never be the same again), the number that I kept for four-plus years, and that super classy Nokia 3310 that lives with Mom now. The phone made me real popular, thanks to that game of snakes that was such a fun reason to spend hours in my furnished room as I grappled with my JEE books, trying to look focused and force people into shameful exit. Back then receiving a call cost you 7 bucks a minute, and making one about 10 I think. The latter is still pretty much the same for the overwhelming majority of calls made from my phone, but anyway. In those days, 4-5 years I’m talking about basically, I used to send perhaps three of four smses, and that was all the happiness I could spread at the cost of my own on New Years for example. It’s unbelievable now how one recharge would last me a month easily. A missed call from home meant I must show up at the telephone at the guard desk. I wouldn’t pick Dad every day because it cost him his own money and left a sorely disappointed me after every *123#. The idea of instilling a sense of frugality as a consequence of such rationed actions, hasn’t unfortunately gone as planned. It has made some mentionable impact though. I marvel at my remarkable capacity to squeeze all that I want to say in the space of 160 characters provisioned per sms by our carriers. And by squeezing in I mean till the last drop. I’m not a happy person if an sms I send has space for few more characters and I can’t fit in anything sensible. It has been a lot of effort and practice with the girlfriend of two years, who I’m sure hasn’t noticed this penny-wise-ness yet. Never mind my dear. I hope we stay together long enough for you to completely realize how wickedly insane I could be.
So getting back to wishing people. Clearly these days most young people don’t make much sense of the act. Young on Orkut once, I used to walk around in a princely gait after I’d received 100-plus scraps on such occasions. It was nice to know that people cared, even if more than half had just remembered you because you happened to be on their list while they ventured to spread greetings serially. But it has all changed now. I made an exception this year. I tried to remember people I had not spoken to in the last six-months or year. At least one person was pleasantly surprised, while there were few ‘Thank you. Do I know you?’! I used to be this person once. I would just give, and expect no return. I don’t know when this changed. And I can’t say if the present liberal state of mind would stay.
Though I can confess I’ve been happier with life in general of late. I have been given/gifted a gorgeous Apple MacBook, the aluminum-cast one-piece object of a nerd’s desire. I got new blades for my razor, and suddenly day three after shaving has this sexy greenish stubble that has me drooling over myself. I have totaled Dad’s new car beyond 5000 kms. I watched Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and Ghajini, both first day first shows, the first time in my life, and this being exactly the kind of thing(s) I say you must do with the one you love. Somehow being crazy together does bring two people really inseparably close. You can’t win with the mundaneness of life anyway, so some little cheer and fun and laughter with a special someone is all you ever ask for. G, the girlfriend so far in the post, has been with me this entire December (that must partially explain no posts in the last 31 days. I wasn’t thinking of anything else). Being with her, and some external influence in terms of ideas about where my life is going, and aging itself, made me realize how simple and materially uncomplicated I want my life to be. And I believe that is ultimately what we all ask for. It is rather unfortunate, and I really mean it, that most of my closest guy pals have been unlucky in love. So far that is to say. I know these guys will make some girls very lucky (however dumb that sounds), but it just hasn’t happened. They’re so ready to give and take love and get into relationships to take things ahead. Anyhow, I guess no one really gets it all. You gain some to lose some for a while.
I was also catching up with a friend from school after like six years. And one of the things she asked me after we had talked about the rest of the world and where all we and everyone we knew had been all this while for an hour, was if I still dressed the same as in school time! Something tells me I should have studied a little less in the 1990s, and looked a little more after myself. I knew most of the good girls, I mean pretty or intelligent or both or plain desperate, more than liked me. But they all just stopped shy of something. I think I now know how my seemingly lousy style of dressing up killed those sweet love stories that could have been.
One of the two wonderful things I have to look forward to this year is staying in Delhi at least for the next year, doing a job job. I’ll tell you more as things roll on.
My folks deserted me on yet another vacation to the North-East end of the year. Not that I regret not making the trip. I think at times I just miss spending more time with them. Me and my emotional baggage!
Anyway, I haven’t quite figured out how, if at all that is, I’d like to change things about my life this year. I began the year visiting a Sai Temple and later praying to Radha-Kishan, Sita-Ram, Ganeshji and Thakurji, something I’ve never done before. I did not ask to be made a better person. That kind of objectivity is too difficult for even the Gods to understand. I had specifics in mind this time. Perhaps this way it’s easier to work for changes. Perhaps I must stop here and not ward you all of for the whole of this year. Have a good one my friends.